Majid’s Story

My name is Abdul Majid Badini. My long and winding path to recovery started in a country you may not know – Balochistan, a previously independent country whose land is now located in Pakistan, Iran, and Afghanistan. I have been a student, a journalist, a political activist, and an advocate for human rights. I have been homeless, an addict, and faced mental health challenges. Today I am a U.S. citizen, in long-term recovery, and for nearly 10 years I have been a member of the Austin Clubhouse. I share my recovery story, which helps me to continue my own journey and hopefully hearing my story will help other members.

I grew up in Balochistan, a previously independent country which has since been divided by the British — with its’ land now located in Pakistan, Iran, and Afghanistan. Ancient archaeology shows the civilization of Mehrgarh in Balochistan dates back to 7,000 B.C.. My home country is rich in minerals such as gold, copper, gas, oil, and uranium and other resources, but its people live in poverty. People struggle for sovereignty, self-determination, and independence.

Due to these conditions, as a teenager I joined a political organization called Baloch Student Organization (BSO). We fought for both the rights of students and the rights of the people of Balochistan. During this time, Pakistan was ruled by the Zia Ul-Haq and his army dictatorship. There was no such thing as democracy, political parties or organizations – they were all banned – and the press was censored. I recall that during this regime, our organization lost a comrade, Hameed Baloch, who was executed in 1981. Unfortunately, this was a frequent occurrence in Pakistan under martial law. I myself was arrested during a protest for my affiliation with the BSO during Zia Ul-Haq’s dictatorship.

In 1984, after I was released, I fled from Balochistan to Afghanistan, and then to what was formerly known as the USSR. Here, I sought refuge and wanted to study. You may not think of the USSR as a place of freedom and relative peace, but it was to me. I came from an Islamic, fundamentalist, tribalistic society, and now I finally had freedom. I was able to drink, and have friendships with girls.

When I gained this freedom, I forgot my purpose of struggling for my nation. I slipped from my path. I studied in a medical institute but missed classes because I was young and enjoyed drinking and partying. Drinking was a large part of the culture in Russia, and slowly I realized I was addicted to alcohol. Due to this struggle with addiction, I missed my classes and did not finish my medical degree at this institute. The girlfriend I loved left me because of my addiction to alcohol. The USSR was in crisis and on the verge of collapse. The economic situation was not good, and the financial situation was difficult. I was not able to get a scholarship or money. For the first time, I felt depressed.

At this time Pakistan became a democracy and the government allowed political activists to return with full forgiveness. I couldn’t survive in the USSR so I returned to Balochistan in 1994. I renewed my political activities and agitated against nuclear tests in Balochistan. I worked as a journalist with my friend and published the journal, “Monthly Balochistan.''

However, I was persecuted because of my political activities, and felt unsafe. In time,  Pakistan again fell under martial law, this time by General Musharaf. I returned to Russia again to escape persecution, but I also returned to addiction and depression. I applied for political asylum, as money ran out quickly and I couldn’t work. I reunited with my girlfriend, but she left me again due to addiction. My depression became deeper, I started drinking more heavily, and I began to experience hallucinations. I believed the KGB was watching me, and I felt this type of paranoia because of the persecution in Pakistan. I couldn’t work legally because they only gave me my papers for three months and did not grant me asylum.

Due to my addiction, I lost respect in my Baloch community. Before my addiction, I was a respected leader of my community and had many friends. I lost my aim in life due to these mental health challenges and political strife. I worked illegally for low pay to survive during the day. At night, I stayed at internet cafes, railway stations, parks, and sometimes with my Baloch community in Russia. When Russia rejected me for asylum, the Red Cross International Migration Organization recommended that I move to America. 

In 2011, America accepted me for asylum. I am grateful to America. This country has given me refuge and a peaceful space, but my addiction and mental illness stayed with me. I suffered from anxiety, hallucinations, and depression. I thought, “How could the KGB be watching me while I was in America?”

I would drink to forget and to avoid my mental health problems. I could not work for a long time. America is a country of opportunities, but I had no purpose in my life. I thought I was a burden on society. I wanted to sleep and not wake up. Thoughts of suicide came, and I thought to myself, “What am I doing? I am not doing anything for myself, my country, or my family.”

In late 2015, my psychiatrist suggested that I go to Austin Clubhouse. I would go to the Clubhouse to volunteer, work on the computers, clean, and interact with others. It helped me to stay motivated. Through the Clubhouse, I found work. At first, I struggled to sustain this job because of my addiction. The Clubhouse helped me get into the hospital. I couldn’t move, had thoughts of suicide, and thought that I was dying. While in the hospital, I swore to my mother that I would stop drinking. On Sept. 6, 2023, I finally made the choice to stop, and have remained sober ever. since. After I got out of the hospital, I went to an outpatient program for alcohol addiction.

Each day I would feel better and believe more strongly that I was on the true path to recovery.  I would go to the Clubhouse and go to AA meetings. I would take my medication. I started to feel better day by day, and my mental health improved. I would get good sleep. I got another position through Austin Clubhouses’ Transitional Employment program at Goodwill and completed a six month position. This opportunity gave me the confidence to secure permanent employment with HEB.

These changes stimulated me, kept me busy. I felt I had more of a purpose in life. I started reading more books and listening to audiobooks. I am thankful to Austin Clubhouse, AA meetings, and to America for giving me a safe place and an opportunity to work. I feel I am equal to others and confident that I am a person that can do something.

I am planning after 22 years to go back to my country to see my family, and it will help me to feel more calm and relaxed. I think I can be useful. Not just for myself, but also for my family and society. The Clubhouse is an important part of my new life.

Photo by Montinique Monroe

Map of Balochistan